Wheels of Civilization

There was a crooked man...If you ever want to see Western civilization with all the lights on and wheels cranked up full throttle then here are the steps to make that happen:

1. Be white.
2. Be middle aged. (Thin hair, lots of white helps.)
3. Have health insurance.
4. Walk into a hospital emergency room.
5. Point to the middle of your chest and say “This hurts.”

Wow, things happen at that point. All kinds of technology and expertise gets thrown at you. Note the JPEG x-rays (those are EKG pads, not my nipples and that crooked line running down the middle is my scoliosis-ridden spine.) My family has all kinds of history of heart problems (as in: every single male) so this day was bound to come, it was 100% expected.

Only, it was a false alarm. Turns out to be inflammation on the rib cage; two Advils with a glass of milk and that was that. Ah well, that particular drama will have to wait — for now it’s back to virtual flame wars with adolescently-arrested bullies and evil record companies.

8 thoughts on “Wheels of Civilization

  1. gurdonark

    I’ve had the false alarm when it turned out to be stretched rib cartilage from lifting bags while traveling. I’m glad yours turned out to be an inflammation and not a problem.

  2. fourstones Post author

    actually, g, that’s pretty much exactly what it was with me too lol – that plus working out on unfamiliar hotel gym machines – but I was too embarrassed to spell that all out (until now, I guess ;).

  3. pazdan

    When I started playing tenor bass, I used a completely different arm position; the instrument was higher up, the angle of my left arm was different, etc. I was woodshedding like a 19 year old..and I started to get this..pain..down my left arm. Went to the doctor and 10 minutes later..I was strapped to a gurney in an ambulance and being fed nitrogen pills. Tests, xrays..but nobody was listening to my explanation. Huge bill.

    They have a nice little cash cow going for middleaged white guys with health insurance, they does.

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